Friday, December 14, 2012

God's calling and leading

I received a special verse a couple of days ago that has been like a center piece for prayer. It is from Psalm 32:8 that says "I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye." There are lots of things I don't understand right now, and am not sure which way to go, but what promises here! Instruction, leading and guidance. Personal guidance with His very own eyes. I have shared a little bit about Alma, and she has a lot to do with my not understanding, not being sure of which way to go, and how God might be guiding me or us. I am afraid of letting my own feelings for her deceive me in some way. This morning while in prayer, I believe God reminded me that I am called to be a missionary. That has never left me, and I know that I will never be satisfied with doing anything else, wherever or in whatever occupation I may find myself in. So I believe that will be a real key in knowing God's leading as far as Alma is concerned. God will have to call her to me, to missions as well if anything is going to become of us. Without any interference on my part. So, that will be my prayer from now on. Father, "Instruct me/us and teach me/us in the way which I/we should go; guide me/us with your eye." Amen. 

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Little brothers call for prayer

I was having dinner last night at Alma's house along with her grandson Israel when my little brother Lenny called. He asked what I was doing, and I told him I was enjoying some tostadas with Alma and Israel. He then said, "put in a good word for me." I told him I always spoke well of my only little brother. Then he went on to explain, "no, I need you to put in a good word to God for me." He said he had just been diving under a  very large tug boat, the water was cold, it's very dark, and he had to go back down and do some grinding on the bottom near a propeller, in a very tight spot, and there would be no one else to help if he got tangled up and in trouble. So we stopped and prayed right then on the spot, all of us. For my little brother to ask for prayer, means he is really scarred. So I take it very seriously. But I really believe God brought him even to that particular job, to show him that when it comes right down to it, God alone is our refuge and strength. Just as He has brought me to this particular place and time and situation so that I too might cling to Him alone, as well as all of you who might be reading this. A couple hours later I called him and the job went well, and we gave thanks to God! I would sure appreciate prayer for my little brother Lenny and his wife Pam.

Monday, December 10, 2012

An unexpected friend

I haven't been writing in this blog for some time. I've wanted to, but probably some big guys with white jackets probably would have showed up at the door to take me away... and rightly so. I guess I thought that since the divorce was final, I could sort of move on, but it hasn't worked that way.

But over the last couple of months, God has been guiding me in ways I never expected. He let me go down, and really far, stripping everything away. Almost forcing me to that place where I could do nothing but cry out to Him. One Wednesday, when I couldn't even get myself across the border to Buenos Aires, I got in my car and just began to drive. I drove, and prayed, and as I drove, my prayers became more and more desperate.

A couple of days later, while I was working on a sermon using Biblegateway, I noticed an advertisement for ChristianCafe. My kids had been saying for some time, "Dad, you need someone to help you around here." But I didn't pay them much attention, because they're always kidding around with me (and vise a versa). Anyway, out of curiosity more than anything, I went to the site, answered some questions, did some looking around, eventually writing back and forth with a few people. But once the conversation got around to missions, the border, or evangelism, things got really quiet and they would drop of the map. But I sensed a growing desire for company, or for someone to be able to talk to about anything and everything. Then one day, noticed someone with no picture, from Nogales on that site. I wrote a simple note, sort of casting out a line, really doubtful about the whole thing anyway. But she wrote back, and thus we have been writing back and forth for a couple of weeks until we were brave enough to try a phone call. Even though almost all of our conversations are in Spanish, we felt very comfortable talking with one another. Finally after a couple of weeks on the phone, we decided we would try a meet at a pizza shop. When I got there, she wasn't there, she stayed in the car, watching from the parking lot to see if I looked scary or not. Finally, she did come out, and we ordered a pizza, but hardly eating at all. Instead we spent almost five hours talking, sharing testimonies, and getting to know one another. A month and a half later, we haven't stopped.

I have wanted to share this sooner, but I guess after twenty three years of marriage, I wasn't sure how this sort of news would be received. But I am at the point now, where I know for sure that God is in this. I'd be a complete fool, blind, deaf and dumb to not see it by now. So, I will begin to make this more and more open now. And I ask for prayer, that our Father will give us wisdom, guidance, and grace so that Alma and myself might be able to discern His will for us.